I have feelings ya' know....

If you're wondering why my title is like that, I will tell you why. I started a relationship with this guy. We have been a couple for almost a week. Everything was sweet and close to perfection. Then suddenly on Monday night, he dropped the bomb on me saying he needed time alone. Ok... I tried to ask him what's up as I do care about him, I'd want to hear him out and be his shoulders to lean/cry on. But he insisted "everything will be alright". I have been sending him messages, telling him "have a blessed day today ^^" for the past 2 days straight. He just reads it and ignores me. Before he went into his total "shut down", he said he would never leave me and all that jazz. I am someone who is a negative thinker. I will admit that. It's so hard for me to think positive due to the past experiences I had with my ex. Mind you, I tried very hard to not think negative but I just couldn't.... 

I told mum about this. I usually am not open on these sorts of things. I am someone who tends to bottle up my feelings and try to sort out the issue by myself until I cannot handle it no more, that's when I break away aka cry like a baby. I cried so hard in front of mum. Surprisingly, she was supportive as ever. She said to have faith in him and all that. Thanks mum, but honestly, I can't. I've been feeling down for the past 2 days and 1 night. Haven't been getting enough sleep due to think, on top of that, I injured my neck. I dropped them weight bar on my shoulder. Oh snap! thank goodness I didn't break my neck. So I basically feel pain both physically and mentally. 

My friend told me to give it a rest. Try not to think about it. I can't. I'm a deep thinker. I think negative. This is who I am. So what I'm doing right now is just to turn off my phone for a couple of days and take the time to rest up and sleep. At this rate, I don't even think he would message me by... Saturday. I'm just sick of it. I don't appreciate people who makes me smile and then BOOM, they drop me like I'm some sort of an object. I don't even appreciate people that likes to leave me out in the dark, not knowing what on earth is going on. Call me selfish you may, but at least I tried by giving him signs that I do care about him and worry about. I do pray and hope to dear Lord that he will message me back, telling me he misses me and all. I also pray that everything will go back to how it was before. Honestly, that 1 week with him .. it was beautiful. 

I hope God has been listening to my prayers. I've never cried so hard and pray at the same time... This is such a horrible feeling I'm feeling right now :(